We are like this only – at Attari-Wagah Border!

As part of the ritual at Amritsar – when one visits, a must do activity is to spend a few hours travelling to the Indo Pak border at Attari-Wagah to watch the Flag lowering parade.

Had anticipated a lot of nationalist fervour, which was visible in abundance and actually encouraged by the ARMY too with an officer cheerleading the audience and prompting with calls of “Vande ….” ”Mataram”  and Hindustan ….” “Zindabad” to match the equically vociferous calls from the other side of the border.

The posturing and chest beating seemed too orchestrated by both the sides and at times appeared more dramatic and almost hilarious to me!

While the pride of seeing the discipline of the Flag lowering Parade and the hardwork, coordination and discipline of the BSF officers was evident, I also felt rather humiliated and also dissapointed by the PRE – PARADE processes.

The uncivilised way of gathering people  outside the gates, and then herding us in like cattle, with two horse mounted officers actually and almost pushing people to get into a single file; the high handed orders were all too deameaning.

And then to top it all there is a VIP process – people with passesand foreign passports could drive right up to the  viewing galleries and  have specially allocated seats…

I felt hugely discriminated and at the end of it all made me wonder why our people in power cannot show maturity and create a more dignified process…

I was also left wondering why our BSF cannot have a more dignified parade; instead of the swollen chest, tall cap demonstration of mine is bigger than yours(!) version that is played out everday twice!

I havnt seen the parade at The Rashtrapati Bhawan, but have heard that one can FAX a request and get an appointment to be part of a guided tour and also watch the parade there. I believe that there is much better thought process demonstrated at this location

Footnote:

One of the important security rules is that you cannot carry any bags inside the gates (no early warning) … so honest Sardars set up tables to keep watch of your precious bags (if you think you can risk it)… Interestingly, we used the services of one such by the roadside and on return complimented the Sardar on offering the service for a fee and for doing the job honestly…He  humbly replied (roughly translated) …

“This is what I am doing since a child …. We are Indian – We are like this only!!“

Why do I behave the Way I do? Am I predisposed in some ways?

In the last two weeks I had two episodes of sharp outbursts! (Won’t go into the gory details… suffice it to say that on both occassions I felt my patience was seriously tested!)

Looking back and in hindsight I have been wondering how others would react in similar situations.., and would I behave differently if similar situation arises again!

My conclusion -

My internal processes would probably be almost identical – my hot buttons were pressed!!  I would once again feel shock and disbelief and frustration. My reaction would certainly be based on fact and information and eventually when I feel the other side is stonewalling I would feel a tsunami of  anger overwhelming me!!

It is possible that my outward demonstrated behaviour may probably be different simply because of the HEIGHTENED AWARENESS of my internal processes.

Therefore the questions that arise in my mind are -

Will I always feel anger given a set of parameters?

Do I have a preferred way of doing tasks? Are there other such behavioural characteristics that I have which are clearly distinctive about me?

I am sure the answer is “YES”  … and in fact there is massive research in Psychology world specifically woring towards identifying such predictive preferences and behavioural choices.

There are many ways of predicting behavioural characteristics but two which are rather interesting for me-

a. Astrology?!!  Horoscope reading especially the Nakshatra based descriptors of behavioural predispositions

b. Empirical data based predictive models specifically the Five Factor Mode: 

See the article on :  

http://chatur.com/ckn/WWA_Article.aspx?Name=JAyFGt kQmlP&PostCode=CE

CAN   BEHAVIOUR   BE   PREDICTED?

Stretching Time?? See the film clip – “Mehrooni”

Today a friend sent me a link on YouTube… A touching story …

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0-WAROt8Hk&feature

You may want to read further after seeing the above mentioned clip…

 

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I saw the clip a couple of times and here is my take from this clip…

It is a rather emotional and touching narration…

I especially loved the way the two ie Mrs & Mr Sharma created time to share – knowing that there an end point nearby…It touched me that the awareness that there is an end point for one of them has made them expand time and savour the same with continuity of experience and sharing.

Death creates a situation wherein you can never again share experiences/time/ or breathe together ….

What I feel is – death/separation either physical or mental creates a huge weight  around those who continue to live…with incomplete/unsatiated needs and desires creating the sorrow/angst and whole slew of emotions including fear and confusion…

In my opinion the film depicts this baggage beautifully in the form of a one armed sweater worn by Sharma at the end ….

At the same time I am left wondering with a few questions?

Is Mr Sharma going to carry the baggage of one sleeveless Maroon Sweater for life?

When will he be able to leave behind this weight?

How will he be able to get into the moment and NOT live in the PAST (forever)?

Is there a lesson in this about emotionally connecting and also about realising that Nothing is Permanent and therefore really look at the baggage of pain of the past that I am carrying and how can one let go (NOT forget but let go!)?

Further :

Why does Mr Sharma need to show his baggage to the world?

Is this his way of seeking sympathy, support or what??

I have raised more questions and I do not have answers to…

Personally, I believe that memories linger endlessly and the pain diminishes over a period of time … Time is probably the only balm and healer to soothe the pain (not erase the memories)….Over time one can accept and forgive others and self.

How soon one can find the strength to overcome the grief, sorrow and pain is a personal and individual choice.

The baggage carried will prevent us from living in the moment …

My learning - I am convinced that expanding time together is a wonderful idea whether it is in Difficulty or in Happiness!

Is the “Mehrooni” story a lesson on STRETCHING TIME??

Is Money more important than Knowledge?

Today I was at a social function and met some rather brilliant minds…

The conversation was rich and someone brought in the topic of KBC (equivalent of Who Wants to be a Millionaire?). How the show was doling out money and the empathy demonstrated by the host and anchor was commendable…

and somebody commented that this was a smart marketing gimmick ….

and then someone else lamented that the show was all about money and not knowledge so the loss of not knowleing was about money and not about lack of knowledge !!!     etc.. etc.. etc…

A question raised by Dr. A during this chat really struck me -

Through such TV shows  Are we spreading the message that Money is more important than Knowledge?

and separately a comment that struck me was -

Money will always chase Knowledge 

What DO YOU Think on the above ?

Please comment freely – Your thoughts are most valuable!

Why does one need to work?? (Updated)

Would love to hear your response to the above poser…

UPDATE TO MY POSER

Here’s a story loaded with meanings and deep philosophy!!

An Adaptation of Mexican Fisherman’s Story!!

An American tourist on a holiday in Mexico happened to visit a small hamlet on the coastline. He happened to walk into the Fisherman’s hut who had just returned from a fishing jaunt. The American complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his catch and was invited to eat the fish cooked Mexican style.

The American was overjoyed with his meal and got into a conversation with the Mexican. He introduced himseld to be a Merchant Banker working in one of the top Brokerage houses on Wall Street. He enquired about the size of the Mexican’s catch and the scale of his activity.

“Why don’t you stay out longer and catch more?” asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his catch was quite enough to meet his needs and feed his family.

“So what do you do with the rest of your time?” asked the American.

“I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evening, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar and sing a few songs. I have a full life.”

The American interrupted. “I have all the contacts and I can help you! You should immediately start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat.”

“And then what?” asked the Mexican.

“With the extra money the bigger boat will bring, you can buy a second boat”

“And then what?” asked the Mexican.

“ and then a third boat, and then more until you have an entire fleet of trawlers.”

“And then what?”asked the Mexican.

“Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants.”

“And then what?” asked the Mexican.

“Pretty soon you could open your own plant. You could leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York!”

“And then what?” asked the Mexican.

 ”From there you could direct your whole enterprise.”

“And then what?” asked the Mexican.

“Afterwards? Well, my friend,” laughed the American, “that’s when it gets really interesting. When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!”

“Millions? Really?And then what?” asked the Mexican.

“After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a beautiful place near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take siestas with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends.”

“So what do you think I am doing now??” asked the Mexican..leaving the American Banker flummuxed and scratching his head !!

Any insights?????

The Monkey of Assumptions!!

We are all making decisions all the time. While we are making decisions we can rarely claim to know and  have all the necessary and relevant information (is this also an assumption?!) ..

 Based on our judgement of the importance of the situation we may use our past experience or our judgement or intuition to make a decision.

Recently, I was facilitating a session and was deliberating with the group of participants how we make assumptions in all that we do…

As we were discussing we explored the example of the buffet lunch – we picked dishes based on our past expecience which had fixed some likes and dislikes… I probed further – “What were the assumptions we made?”

It led to many snippets of insights including -
The food served is hygeinic and edible.
It is freshly cooked
It would be healthy
etc…

Interestingly one of the participants had some prior information that the quality of food is not always up to the mark at this particupar venue and strangely he did not share this with us on that occassion. We came to know about it the next day as he was admitted to a hospital with a gastric disorder and even more strange is that nobody other than he fell ill!!!

The funny outcome was that for the next meal we had everyone had started asking questions and seemingly making decisions based on more information….

The MONKEY of ASSUMPTIONS was momentarily removed from our backs!!

How Big is the MONKEY of ASSUMPTIONS  that you carry arround with you?

Post Thought:  Interestingly the Power of Asking Questions is another theme I would like to share/discuss  about …. On another occassion maybe?!

Marketing Guru!!

One must acknowledge the Sales and Marketing acumen of TEAM – “ART of LIVING”.

They have KISSed (kept it simple silly!) the theme of selling Peace of Mind wonderfully well.

• A charismatic brand ambassador at the helm – Sri Sri himself.
•  Just the right amount of appropriate media exposure
• An altruistic value proposition
• A brilliant network of volunteers at the operational level (scale is therefore guaranteed)
• Finding the right audience every time to make a pitch and most important of all
• Delivering Value in the form of “Peace of Mind” even through 10 minute meditation sessions

I think there are many lessons to learn from this model. The scale achieved both nationally and globally is something to be proud of as an individual. There surely is continuity in this model stemming from earlier Gurus like Osho/Acharya Rajneesh and many others…

Am sure there is a case study available on “The Art of Living” in one of the Management Institutes. If not it woud make a wonderful topic for a paper. (Would love to get my hands on a copy of the same)

May the Power of Meditation be with you!

Cheers!

Touch Me Not – I am an Indian!

Having attended the Inaugural Function of the NHRDN meeting in Bangalore I had the opportunity to listen to some major influencers in our society – Sam Pitroda and Sri Sri Ravi Shankar and one common theme that I heard from both was the inability of us Indians to accept feedback!

There is a instant defence WALL that is raised as soon as anyone gives feedback.

You may want to test it out yourself… Give a person around you a feedback about something that you do not like or are not happy about  and see what happens…

In my continuous quest on this theme I have experimented in innumerable situations and invariable see the WALL instantaneously raised and at times guns raised attacking oneself.

Now test yourself…. observe your own behaviour when someone gives you a feedback which you do not like. What do we do ??

Are we open to receiving and weigh the details of the situations and use the input for improvement OR do we feel bad about it and hold this engagement as a grouse and a grudge? OR do we instantly provide with explanations which actually sound like excuses.  

Both Sam Pitroda and Sri Sri highlighted this…Can we / Should we do something about this?

 

 

I was asked a powerful question!

I was asked a very incisive and powerful question in a recent interaction -

“Do you have any specific development objectives for yourself at this time?“

My almost immediate reaction was -” I am in a continuous state of awareness and extremely alert to inputs that I keep receiving from my environment and so my personal development is a continuous process. I therefore do not have specific themes that I am consciously working on in terms on my own development!”

and I got a very interesting reply and push back

“So would you conclude that since you do not have a specific development objective for yourself you are NOT really working on a specific development initiative for yourself?“

“I nodded in the affirmative!”

I have been thinking about this interaction for some time now and especially the concluding comment made … which also made me think of the number of times in the past 25 years when I have consciously pinpointed a specific theme which I need to address and determine a development plan for myself. I was able to count such instances on the fingures of one hand!

And as I reflected on the times that I did engage in creating specific development themes I recollected the amazing outcomes that happened for me.

One such was about developing confidence another was about anger management and third was to develop patience and recognise that cognition is not the same for everyone.

As I identified these themes, I now realise that I enhanced my self awareness, consciousness and heightened my alertness to my environment and I beleive enhanced my ability to deal with situations more effectively as a person.

I therefore have one more item on my todo list  - Ask self and others around me this very powerful question frequently-

“What is your  specific development objective(s) for yourself at this time?”

Value Themes of Leadership

Last week I heard an interview with Indra Nooyi CEO – Pepsi on television.

In one segment she articulated at length two themes that she was paying attention to as a leader.

1. The need to communicate the vision and through the communication create alignment within the team continuously.

2. The process of creating a thick pipeline of Managerial and Leadership talent in her organisation.

Both appear to be very fundamental themes and at the same time extremely important from the organisations perspective.

I tried to co-relate the above themes and the narrative that she had lucidly stated in the interview with the challenges of Dr Manmohan Singh as the leader of the great and complex nation of India and one big theme struck me was the contrast in his communication process as a leader.

In my humble opinion,  if there is one big chink in his armour it is his inability to communicate and connect with the population of this nation and share the vision which I sense exists but invisible to all of us in the country.

It would be interesting to observe Political Leaders, Heads of Conglomerates, CEO’s and Department Managers and see how the above two themes impact the Leadership Proposition that they are engaged with.